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THE BEST TIME

I know a lot of people treat autumn as a mourning period for summer but personally I love it. The autumnal clothes come out, the weather is cool and unpredictable and there’s loads of exciting stuff to look forward to: Halloween, Bon Fire Night, my birthday and if you’re that way inclined, Canadian Thanks Giving. Maybe that last one’s a stretch but I still like this time of year as it’s a time to look forward to the coming months but also a time to look back. If this was an episode of a hit US comedy show, we’d be doing the “best bits” montage right now and trust me we’ve had some pretty amazing and surreal times here at the shop!

The biggest event this year by far was the refurbishment. I know I’m biased but I think the place just oozes class now; everything from the chairs, to the tiled workspaces, right down to the vintages basins. Check out some of the photos on the website or even better why not pop round to the shop and take a look. I remember all those years ago when I first came here - it was only a little two seater operation, but now you come in on a Friday afternoon and there are six of us snipping, shaving and generally making everyone and anyone who walks through that front door look fantastic! And when I say everyone I mean everyone! You see now that we’re probably the most stylish of men’s hairdressers in London everyone wants to be seen getting their trims from us. I remember in June coming into the shop and Rich was in early, fussing and wanting everything spic and span (more so than usual). Then I understood why, in the corner, there was a TV crew setting up. That’s the thing about working at Pall Mall Barbers; it’s like working on a film set.

So I ask Rich who’s coming in and he says, “Celebrity Come Dine with Me”. Cool, a celeb, but I wanted to know who. Turns out Calum Best is coming in for a spruce up prior to hosting his dinner party. Not bad, that’s a pretty cool scalp for the shop to have. I mean Calum is a very famous…. Well he’s famous; let’s leave it at that, and “Come Dine with Me” – the celebrity version no less. What many people don’t know about me is that I love to cook and I don’t mean boiling some pasta and mixing it with some Lloyd Grossman sauce (that would be Richard’s signature dish). No, I am a fully fledged, baking, sautéing, gastro machine and on top of that I’ll admit I love a bit of a bitch fest and that’s certainly what you get on “Come Dine with Me”. So I was feeling a bit nosy, I wanted to know what Calum was rustling up that night for his fellow celebs.

Unfortunately Calum was struggling with the pressures of entertaining and so was running late. An hour and a half after his scheduled appointment, he raced in with his entourage, gave his interview, which involved some choice words about his fellow competitors/dinner guests (here I cough and you might just hear the words “Janice Dickinson” as I clear my throat) and before we knew it he was on his way back to start cooking up his grub. I managed to glean from what he had said that he was cooking prawns, chicken and chocolate, I just hope he doesn’t serve it up all from the same bowl!

All in all it wasn’t a bad day in the office, at which point I’m afraid I must leave you, the quiet moments in Pall Mall Barbers never stay quiet for long and it’s time for the lunchtime rush.

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CHRIS KAMARA - Pall Mall Barbers

CHRIS KAMARA SCORES AT PALL MALL BARBERS It’s a beautiful sunny day here at Pall Mall Barbers. Perfect conditions for wet shaving and I’m sure the expert staff here will be keen to wet their brushes and lather up some entertainment. And we can expect some entertainment today as Pall Mall Barbers will be hosting the legendary Chris Kamara, fresh from the punditry box and ready to unleash some sage advice and hopefully some memorable quotes.
Who of course can forget his choice words, “they’re fighting like beavers”? Maybe he’ll compare the experts at Pall Mall Barbers to woodland creatures or graceful gazelles on the Serengeti. Today Kamara’s stubble will be tackled by Adrian, a young speed talent known for whipping his cut throat razor across the face with breathtaking speed. But will he be able to negotiate the famously stubborn tache of Kamara, which is reportedly as hard as the ex-player who wears it?
Time will tell as kick off is in half an hour. Chris Kamara’s entourage has arrived and Adrian is limbering up. Kamara on arrival seemed relaxed and excited, but now the hour has come, he is clearly feeling the nerves despite his extensive large stage experience. Who would have thought the midfield enforcer with over 600 league appearances to his name would fear a little publicity shave?

Now comes the pre-match photos, which I believe will be displayed in the lad’s magazine “Loaded”. And the game is afoot as Adrian jumps out of the blocks and applies the barber shop owned brand of face balm to Kamara’s cheeks. Kamara takes everything thrown at him in a confident manner and even has time to chat to an interviewer from “Loaded”; until he is lost amongst the steaming towels which have expertly applied pressure to Kamara’s stubble from the get go. (Can I get away with saying “they are right in Kamara’s face” – I don’t think so). Once the towels are whipped away, Chris continues to give his interview with the panache he showed on the football pitch (but not always in the punditry box).
Now how are he, and more importantly his moustache, going to handle the shaving brush? As we expected, no mortal made brush nor blade can go near that facial hair and Adrian must settle on tackling the bristles away from that particular British stiff upper lip. Soon Kamara’s face is lost amongst the white lather of the barber’s shaving cream and Chris’ moustache resembles a surfaced submarine encased in the icebergs of the Antarctic. It’s time for Adrian to show those razor sharp skills that won him a place on the Pall Mall Barber’s team. He’s a player with a few tricks up his sleeve but he’s not taking Kamara’s weather beaten face for granted. Years of playing and commentating on windswept pitches - and let’s not forget his original career as a sailor - have left the hard man… well need I say more?
Adrian races through his moves and soon the long awaited match is nearly over. As the cut throat razor slices through the last stubborn hairs on Chris’ chin the crowd thinks it’s all over and, with satisfying predictability, it is now, as Adrian splashes the celebratory after shave on Kamara. So who won you ask? Well Kamara definitely left a winner, though I think it’s fair to say the spoils can be shared. Kamara leaves with tache intact and Pall Mall Barbers can take a moral victory that Chris Kamara’s cheeks look like they were when he played his debut for Portsmouth all those years ago (1975).



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SHAVING - Wet Shave Virgin - Barber Shop

WET SHAVE VIRGIN

“I just need to adjust the seat a bit more so I can expose the neck,” was Ben’s opinion. Personally I was wondering whether it was particularly wise to have my neck so open to the sharp elements. In fact I was having second thoughts about having a luxury traditional shave at all, even if it was at a top London barber shop. I started to think of all those mob films that I’m so accustomed to; I wish I hadn’t watched “Eastern Promises” the night before. Or maybe I had just gotten attached to my unruly stubble that I like to call a beard…

Anyway, Ben, one of the extremely skilled and experienced members of staff at Pall Mall Barbers London started to give my face close attention. I’d be willing to bet he knows more about my cheeks than my fiancée. Maybe this was part of the performance, I thought. Maybe, this was to prove he was an expert, I mean, what’s he looking for in amongst my stubble? I took the opportunity to point out that I have very sensitive skin, hence the beard and that it doesn’t seem to make a difference what products I use, I always get a rash. Ben smiles, he’s heard it all before. “Don’t worry; this will be a rash free shave. Now, how close do you want it? I can make you look like a 14 year old boy, if that’s what you want?” As this was a gift from my fiancée for my 30th birthday the idea to look young sounded appealing but I had no desire to go back to such Elysium days of youth and opted for the standard “with the grain” straight razor shave.

Once the inspection of my face was complete, Ben applied some shaving product which smelt of eucalyptus and then applied the hot towels. I’ve seen this bit in many films but the feeling has to be experienced; it is truly decadent and relaxing. I was almost disappointed when the towels came off, but was relieved when more sweet smelling product was applied and once again my face was lost amongst the steaming flannels. Eventually the pores had been suitably opened and my bristles softened into gentle beings and the towels were removed and the shaving brush was used to whip up a soapy lather and applied to my face.

Then came the crunch time. I was pleased to see that Ben did not suffer from shaking hands nor did he approach his job with an absent mind. He tackled my face with the concentration of a bomb disposal expert from “The Hurt Locker”, tackling each mole, contour and blemish with skill and - dare I say it - “Sweeney Todd” dexterity. Before I knew it, my face was once again soap free and I found myself looking into the eyes of a man I once knew ten years ago. But before this reunion had a chance to develop, Ben was once again slapping on more of the barber shop’s own branded product and out came the razor. Three times I went under the knife; never has my face experienced so many lotions, ointments and attention, and it showed. I now knew how the other half live on a daily basis. My face had experienced true luxury and was as smooth as… well, a baby’s bottom. For a man who tends to wear a beard through sheer laziness, it was a shock to see myself well groomed and Ben was right, there has been no rash and no ungainly ingrown hairs to speak off. We all need to be pampered now and again. We all need to be kind to ourselves, and so some head off to the luxury spas, some to the massage parlors. I personally like to head off to a classy London barbers tucked away in between Leicester Square and Trafalgar Square where I sit back, let the barber do what he does best and try not to think about mob vendettas.





www.pallmallbarbers.com



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