Sunday 27 February 2011

Loony Reasons to Cut your Hair

The other day my partner suggested to me it was time I got my hair cut. That’s how I know when it’s got too shaggy; she acts like an alert mechanism. Personally I’m pretty rubbish at thinking about things like that and I even have a part time job in a barber shop. I think it’s an interesting point. I see a lot of men coming into the shop and the variety of hair lengths is incredible. Some men look like they’ve left it a good three years since their last trim, while others might well have got as many trims from Pall Mall Barbers as they’d had hot dinners. So what is it that makes a man come on in for the cut?




I decided to do a bit of research and take a look at what the World Wide Web has to offer on top tips for hairstyles but I found something so much better; An astrological website dedicated to when and how to cut your hair. It includes things like a moon maintenance plan and sections on which star signs to avoid cutting your hair in. It must be one of the most bizarre websites I’ve ever seen and with Rich as a friend I’ve seen some pretty weird sites! Still it’s useful to know that the moon in Aries is dry and barren and as Aries is a dynamic sign it’s a good time to get a sporty, short cut.



I should state that this wasn’t just one random obscure website I found – it seems to be a widely talked about subject with dozens of different websites to refer to. I mentioned this peculiar way of thinking to Rich who said that during his recent trip to Asia he learnt how the Buddhists in fact have a similar approach to cutting their hair based on the lunar cycle. So at least we know where the idea originated. Surprisingly enough though, there is a lot less on the internet about Buddhist practices in regards to head shaving etc than there is about telling Scorpios and Virgos when to avoid getting their hair dreaded!



My teachers at school and my professors at university always taught me to present a balanced argument, showing both sides to any one debate. So I should state something in favour of the lunar approach to cutting your hair, so here goes….. Sorry, no, can’t – nothing whatsoever comes to mind in regard to such an insane way of thinking. All I could say is it seems harmless enough.



So, if the moon isn’t an important factor in getting your haircut, what is? I go back to your partner’s urging. That is a sure statement of need in my book, but maybe it would be better to pre-empt the suggestion from others. After all I can sometimes look like a homeless beggar if it wasn’t for the guidance of my nearest and dearest. One of Richards’s top tips, is to get your hair cut on a more regular basis, so apparently I’m not the only one who leaves it too long. Once again I go back to my internet provider looking for answers, but surprisingly enough it has failed me twice now in the same blog. I can find nothing on the indicators for needing a haircut. There are, however, plenty of tips on getting a good haircut, which seem pretty obvious to me, e.g. go to a proper barber shop. When I was a kid, there always seemed to be one child in every class who was teased by the others with the claim, “your mum cuts your hair and she uses a bowl to help her”. If kids in the 80s used that as an insult I would have thought that the adults of today would have fathomed that to get the best results from your hair means going to a decent hairdresser - or buying a better class of bowl…



So I leave you with a frustratingly empty ending to this blog by asking you what indicators tell you, you need a haircut. Do you always go for a trim on pay day or is it just before a big event, like your birthday or a holiday? Or do you have a moon cycle hair plan that I should know about?



Email me your methods at pallmallbarberslondon@gmail.com



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Friday 18 February 2011

Writer's Block

So the day has finally arrived. We all knew it would, but we just put our heads in the sand and said ‘well it’s not this week, life will continue in its happy predictable way’. Well this is the week when it all changes – I have lost my gift of waffle! I have mislaid my art de whimsy. I have abandoned my…. no, wait I can’t think of a cute sentence revolving round the verb to pontificate. It is what all writers dread – the writer’s block. I don’t know why they call it that. It doesn’t feel like a blockage; it’s not like my head is full of brilliant or bizarre ideas which have matted together to cause brain constipation. No, writer’s block is more like a cold wintry day in the Sahara or, worse, the Fens; bare, desolate, windy and incredibly dull.



With this blog it was always going to be hard to think up 52 blogs in 52 weeks. I mean Pall Mall Barbers is a great place to work and in a great location but it’s not every week we have a film crew come in or a celebrity getting a wet shave. Would you want to read about PMB efficiency and what Adrian had for lunch? Because that is all I really have to report on what happened at the shop this week.


On the other hand I could give you a spoiler to something which we’re cooking up at the moment and which you will see in the summer. It’s a series of online sketches about fictitious employees at Pall Mall Barbers. The characters are called Paul, Mal and Barbara. It’s something Rich and I have been talking about doing for months now and rehearsals have finally started, which might explain why, if you’re walking past the shop of an evening, you might see strange-looking, overly animated and emotional people inside the establishment. They’re actors – they’re not real people! But you know what, I’m not going to give you any more information about Paul, Mal and Barbara – you’ll just have to wait till the summer for the big release (it feels like the Sky Atlantic promotions – maybe I can get Rich to splash out on some massive billboards promoting the release).



Talking of comedy sketches brings me nicely on to the subject of the upcoming Comic Relief Day. You’ve probably seen the adverts, with Armstrong and Miller racing around a shopping centre and invading a news studio, reminding everyone to start their fundraising campaigns now. The actual day is 18th March (day after St. Patrick’s Day). There have been some pretty amazing fundraising campaigns in the past, such as Eddie Izzard’s attempts to cripple himself by running more miles than most of us will walk in a lifetime. We’ve also seen both celeb and ordinary Joe embarrass themselves in the names of both comedy and of course charity. We at Pall Mall Barbers love embarrassment – bring it on we say! We prefer to see something embarrassing happen to someone else (Schadenfreude) but more often than not it’s one of us in the firing line. So tell us what you’re doing to raise money for Comic Relief. After all, who can resist the tears and even the ‘off’ fainting of a celebrity who walks around an African slum asking for our cash? I normally mute those bits. No seriously I’m only joking – it’s a great cause and one that I also donate a little something towards each year.



Now we’d really like to know how everyone is planning to raise money, but especially if it is a hair-related, hair brain scheme – pardon the pun. Is there anyone out there planning to shave their heads, legs, back, bum… need I go on? Is there a man out there who’s had a beard for the past decade who is going to shave it all off for charity? Maybe we might be able to help? But if it’s a question of shaving your head – we’d want to have full control over how close a shave it is! Like I said we love the embarrassing comedy.


So this week might have lacked any exciting gossip or news, therefore I ask for your help. Do something truly embarrassing - preferably for charity - and tell me about it so I can publish the event to the world through Pall Mall Barbers’ blog page.

Have a good week and I’ll be back to my waffling best next week. Email me at pallmallbarberslondon@gmail.com

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Saturday 12 February 2011

Valentine’s Nightmare

So the dreaded day is looming and already there has been an increase flow of men coming to the shop for a wash and trim in preparation for a romantic evening out with their special someone. Valentine’s Day has to be my least favourite event – give me Christmas, Easter or even Pancake Day every time. With Christmas and Easter comes time off work and even with Pancake Day comes decent grub. But what does Valentine’s Day give you? If you’re single you get a cold slap in the face to needlessly remind you that no-one is typing your name onto the template of a Moon Pig card. If you’re in a relationship, rather than give you heart ache, it gives you heartburn as you attempt to find that all so beautiful gift or to arrange that oh so memorable evening.
I’ve always found that dates on Valentine’s Day to be a bizarre experience with so many couples around me desperately having a romantic experience. Not that staying in is necessarily any safer. A few years ago my friend Natalie experienced the worst Valentine’s Day ever. This from a girl who had always believed that she was cursed, having been routinely dumped just prior to Valentine’s day so often it was left to her mum to provide comfort flowers and chocs. Well on the year in question Natalie was seeing a young man and they decided to cut their evening out short to get home to enjoy some… well I don’t think I need to divulge anymore specifics.
Returning home the young lady finds a beautiful bunch of flowers on her doorstep. In the card, an ex has written that he hopes that she’s well and suggests meeting up. Needless to say her date is a tad put out by this – but Natalie, determined to have a wonderful evening, puts the flowers to one side and assures her man that all is good between them and that maybe they should head upstairs. Just as they reach the top of the stairs - would you believe it - the doorbell rings. Who could it be on Valentine’s evening?
With an impatient sigh the young woman readjusts her clothing; heads back down the stairs and opens the front door. There on the doorstep behind a huge bouquet and a box of her favourite chocolates, is another ex boyfriend. This might sound similar to the plot of “Scott Pilgrim vs. the world” but I swear it is a true story. Natalie, far from welcoming her ex and despite his epic journey across the country to be with her, is furious with his unannounced visit and brusquely pushes him back off the step so that she can tell him off out of ear shot of her already peeved boyfriend.
Once she has sent the ex packing with a face like a kicked puppy, it takes lots of soothing and large quantities of champagne to bring the mood back round to its original setting. Finally things are back on track and Natalie is also on her back when the doorbell sounds once again. At first the loving couple try to ignore the incessant ringing but the demon on the doorstep will not go away.
Eventually, despite the expletives and protestations of her lover, Natalie throws on a dressing gown and heads for the front door once again. It’s a messenger from Interflora, presenting her with yet another bouquet of red roses. With utter confusion on her face as she mentally counts back her ex boyfriends in her head, she tears at the accompanying card. The flowers are from none other than her mother, continuing the tradition of giving her one and only daughter flowers on Valentine’s Day.
Surely this was easy enough to explain to her fella? Well, to be better safe than sorry Natalie decided that it would be better to ditch the flowers before going back inside. In a moment of adrenaline-fuelled madness she scurried across the front garden and unceremoniously shoved the flowers into the front hedge. Unbeknown to her, the boyfriend was impatiently waiting by the bedroom window, only to see his girlfriend acting as suspiciously as Colonel Mustard in an Agatha Christie novel, stashing the incriminating evidence in the foliage.
It was the final straw and no amount of weak truth could dispel the raging paranoia that had taken residence in the young man’s head. He dressed and headed out the door and though the couple have remained friends, their love life was effectively over as of that day.
On that happy note I wish you all a happy safe and eventful Valentine’s Day. Let me know how it goes or if you also have some horror stories you want to share!
pallmallbarberslondon@gmail.com


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Friday 4 February 2011

Blind in Business

Ever heard of “Blind in Business”? I hadn’t and it was only when Richard and I were sorting out the junk yard of an office in the shop that I came across them. I should quickly explain (before Richard gets defensive) that we are extremely well organised in the office. That it resembles the aftermath of an SAS anti terrorist insertion operation is because it is a small thriving entrepreneurial engine space, which enables the magic to happen upstairs, which you will know only too well! As I was saying, Richard and I were doing a spot of tidying up when I came across a number of photos of the staff with their clients. Normally in these situations the clients will have some sort of claim to fame – some valid, some not so, but on looking at these photos I didn’t recognise any faces. These were the participants of an exercise called “Project VIP” which is run by Blind in Business. Robin Spruell, who runs the scheme, contacted Richard last autumn to see whether we would be willing to participate. On finding out what this involved, Richard was more than happy to put Pall Mall Barbers forward to play its part.

Imagine it’s the day of the interview for your dream job. You’ve picked out your best suit and your lucky underwear and you’re shaved and groomed to the hilt. You look at yourself in the hall mirror one more time and say to yourself “I’m a winner” before heading to the door. But what if you can’t check yourself over and give your reflection a morale boosting pick-me-up?

Of course if you’re like me you’ll also have checked and re-checked and then checked just one more time in an AtoZ where you have to get to and which combination of buses, trains and tubes you need to catch to get you to that all important interview with time to spare, even if you’ve made the journey a 1000 times before, but again what if the option of an AtoZ in the briefcase is not an option at all? What if you’re blind or partially sighted?

Now, or course those who are visually impaired are more than capable of getting around and presenting themselves in a fashionable and professional manner, but if you think about the stress and nerve levels that a sighted person feels before taking the , how much do you need to multiply that by for a visually impaired person? As the Blind for Business website states, “…confidence is so fragile and often lacking in young blind and partially sighted people.”

The purpose of “Project VIP” is to take a group of blind and partially sighted men and women and educate them in how to present themselves for both interviews and the workplace. This is done by first taking the participants to a hairstylist for a consultation on how to mould / style their hair. This includes the barber telling the participant what they need to ask for each time they go for a haircut and photographs to be used for future reference. The participants are then taken on to a clothes store to discuss what they might wear for interviews before going to a workshop to chat with top corporate professionals about the issues for blind and partially sighted people in the interview environment.

On November 2nd Pall Mall Barbers welcomed the participants into the shop and got cracking, making them look sharp and dapper. It was a bonding exercise not only for the participants but also for the barbers and of course with this came plenty of banter – Richard wouldn’t have it any other way!

From the Blind in Business website it sounds like they had a great day, not only at Pall Mall Barbers but at all the other venues then went to, including Google HQ. I’d be fascinated to know what the Project VIP guys are doing now and if I find out I’ll let you all know.


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