Writer's Block

So the day has finally arrived. We all knew it would, but we just put our heads in the sand and said ‘well it’s not this week, life will continue in its happy predictable way’. Well this is the week when it all changes – I have lost my gift of waffle! I have mislaid my art de whimsy. I have abandoned my…. no, wait I can’t think of a cute sentence revolving round the verb to pontificate. It is what all writers dread – the writer’s block. I don’t know why they call it that. It doesn’t feel like a blockage; it’s not like my head is full of brilliant or bizarre ideas which have matted together to cause brain constipation. No, writer’s block is more like a cold wintry day in the Sahara or, worse, the Fens; bare, desolate, windy and incredibly dull.



With this blog it was always going to be hard to think up 52 blogs in 52 weeks. I mean Pall Mall Barbers is a great place to work and in a great location but it’s not every week we have a film crew come in or a celebrity getting a wet shave. Would you want to read about PMB efficiency and what Adrian had for lunch? Because that is all I really have to report on what happened at the shop this week.


On the other hand I could give you a spoiler to something which we’re cooking up at the moment and which you will see in the summer. It’s a series of online sketches about fictitious employees at Pall Mall Barbers. The characters are called Paul, Mal and Barbara. It’s something Rich and I have been talking about doing for months now and rehearsals have finally started, which might explain why, if you’re walking past the shop of an evening, you might see strange-looking, overly animated and emotional people inside the establishment. They’re actors – they’re not real people! But you know what, I’m not going to give you any more information about Paul, Mal and Barbara – you’ll just have to wait till the summer for the big release (it feels like the Sky Atlantic promotions – maybe I can get Rich to splash out on some massive billboards promoting the release).



Talking of comedy sketches brings me nicely on to the subject of the upcoming Comic Relief Day. You’ve probably seen the adverts, with Armstrong and Miller racing around a shopping centre and invading a news studio, reminding everyone to start their fundraising campaigns now. The actual day is 18th March (day after St. Patrick’s Day). There have been some pretty amazing fundraising campaigns in the past, such as Eddie Izzard’s attempts to cripple himself by running more miles than most of us will walk in a lifetime. We’ve also seen both celeb and ordinary Joe embarrass themselves in the names of both comedy and of course charity. We at Pall Mall Barbers love embarrassment – bring it on we say! We prefer to see something embarrassing happen to someone else (Schadenfreude) but more often than not it’s one of us in the firing line. So tell us what you’re doing to raise money for Comic Relief. After all, who can resist the tears and even the ‘off’ fainting of a celebrity who walks around an African slum asking for our cash? I normally mute those bits. No seriously I’m only joking – it’s a great cause and one that I also donate a little something towards each year.



Now we’d really like to know how everyone is planning to raise money, but especially if it is a hair-related, hair brain scheme – pardon the pun. Is there anyone out there planning to shave their heads, legs, back, bum… need I go on? Is there a man out there who’s had a beard for the past decade who is going to shave it all off for charity? Maybe we might be able to help? But if it’s a question of shaving your head – we’d want to have full control over how close a shave it is! Like I said we love the embarrassing comedy.


So this week might have lacked any exciting gossip or news, therefore I ask for your help. Do something truly embarrassing - preferably for charity - and tell me about it so I can publish the event to the world through Pall Mall Barbers’ blog page.

Have a good week and I’ll be back to my waffling best next week. Email me at pallmallbarberslondon@gmail.com

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